Well, yesterday I spent all day reading about side effects of Clomid, stories of happy results and stories of unhappy results, different advise given, and so on. I guess I just think that I will take this magic pill and bam, all my problems will be solved. I know that is not going to happen but is wishful thinking. It is kinda like when one thing goes wrong everything starts to fall apart, why can’t when things go right everything start to go right. That seems only fair. My husband says that having a child will change everything and he will stop doing what he does now once he has a child. It is just hard for me to believe that would change someone that much when they have a habit. I think that is what he thinks will be an easy fix but I know it is not going to be. I think it will only make matters worse because finances are going to get worse and we will not have any time to our self. IF and ONLY IF I was not under a time frame to have a child, we would so wait. I dont feel that we are ready but I dont want to wait too late and then loose out on having at least ONE of my own….
Anywho, I took my first pill last night and so far no side effects that I know of. From my understanding though the side effects usually don’t take place until day 3 or 4 of the pill. I took the advise of several bloggers about taking the pill at night hoping I just sleep most of the side effects away.
My husband is killing me though. I think his drinking has grown from only once a week to in the morning when he gets up. He doesnt have to be at work until later in the afternoon and he is home by his self. I believe during this time he has a few drinks because he knows I want catch him. I came home early the other day and he practically yelled at me and made me feel guilty for even coming home. After I thought about I realized that he was just angry because I ruined his morning routine. This weekend, I noticed when he got home from work he was being extremely mouthy. I couldn’t understand but soon to find out after he went to his car for like the 5th time in a row, he had a 5th a barcardi in his trunk. I mean, I have repeatedly asked you to stop. I have explained to you that it is putting a huge strain in our marriage and on top of that we are trying to have a child which means you are lessening our changes due to your sperm count. I just dont understand….if he ever approuched me and said that something was putting a strain on our marriage….I would do anything and everything in my power to fix it. He just acts like it is no big deal. I just dont know what to do anymore and I dont know how to tell him any differently that he is hurting me.
